When I look in the mirror, I don't like what I see.
Unfortunately, it's an epidemic; I know I'm not the only one. For some, it's their skin color or acne, height or weight, age and imperfections. My particular brand of shame comes from severely thinning hair.
For some time, I thought I'd managed the emotional effects, because I started wearing wigs. While this did drastically improve my self-confidence and brought me out of hiding, the struggle to strive for "normal" and "pretty" remained a daily burden.
Over the past year or so, the thought of shaving my head would occasionally bounce around my mind long enough for me to dismiss it as "crazy talk." But God has had me on a crazy/awesome journey for a while, and managed to bring it to my attention as I was thinking about the upcoming season of Lent. I knew I needed to find a way to have less of me so I could be filled with more of Him, especially as this season coincides almost exactly with my preparations to move to another country for a mission project and next chapter in my journey.
So, after praying and conversations with my mom and a couple friends, I was convicted that this was the time to shave my head.
What does this have to do with Lent? Well, nothing... and everything!
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joyawaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.-Hebrews 12:1-2 NLT
All of the shame, frustration, resentment, false hope, labels, and lies that I associate with my hair was a HUGE weight, and I knew that the best way to continue in obedience to God was to literally be rid of that weight. I want to be free to follow him boldly and fully accept his truths and promises.
I have no idea what God will do with this, I just know my part right now is to shed light on my ugly truth.
We captured the whole thing on video, including a more in-depth explanation of the emotions and thoughts leading up to the event. It is about 10 minutes long, but I, personally, think it's worth it!
Melody, you are a brave girl fiercely running after God! Thanks for being so vulnerable and encouraging me to be the same. Thanks for an unedited testimony!
ReplyDeleteSo amazing! I am awed by your bravery. Where are the other pictures?--Sarah Cox
ReplyDeleteFound the video. Awesomely done!-Sarah
ReplyDeletePowerful. I appreciate you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you and your bravery! I know what it is like to have your physical appearance be a huge hindrance to serving God and how great it is when you can finally shed that. I hope this step helps you see just how beautiful you truly are!
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